Help with under-performing employee

Testimonial

Dear Clare

I am writing this testimonial in recognition of your ability to contribute to the health and wellbeing of one of our employees, to whom I will to refer as employee ‘B’.

In our company we continually pride ourselves in the way in which we support our employees, but due to ‘B’s’ home circumstances and her own mindset, she became increasingly stressed and unable to perform effectively in her role. This was displayed through late time keeping, sickness and absence and eventually actual complaints from our clients.

We spoke to ‘B’ and discovered that but she was finding it very difficult to cope with some challenges life had currently thrown her way.

We suggested she speak to you and she said that she would ‘give it a go’.

The result is that we cannot believe the difference in the performance of this employee. She is no longer late, or turning up looking harassed and stressed. Both outwardly and inwardly, she has managed to pull her life together.

The result is that we now have a lovely thank you card from her, thanking us for referring her to you, and for the support we have given her as our employee. She is now back on course and performing as we would expect, with good time keeping and more importantly, no further complaints from clients!

Your contribution to the professionalism of our company is greatly appreciated and I am delighted to highly recommend your work to any organisation, large or small, who wants to support their employees through difficult times, or to anyone who needs a bit of clarity in their life!

Thank you, Clare, and I look forward to a continuing business relationship with you and Absolute Coaching Ltd.

ML

Director

Help with depression

This email was sent to me from a client after I have been working with her for a month using the Work, the Pain Release Technique and the Journey:

'When I first came to see you, I was as depressed as I have ever been; life seemed hopeless. After just four sessions, I feel so different. My life is my own again, I'm not a victim anymore, and I have regained my self esteem, and respect. I can see life positively again and know I can choose how I think, and therefore how I feel. Big big thanks for all your help, support and 'tough love' - it was just what I needed.' CH

Testimonials for Pain Release Technique

 ‘I really enjoy the process. I use it before going to sleep. When I stop is when I feel the pain, especially in my hips, so it is difficult to get to sleep. Sometimes the pain moves and sometimes it goes. It is weird. I will definitely keep using it’.

‘It calms me down if I am anxious or stressed. I use it in bed when I have pain and I am able to get to sleep and the next day it is better. It does work, if the pain comes on I will definitely use it in the future’.

‘My neck has been as free as it has ever been. The process releases the stiffness. It also helped with the tiredness and it has eased the pain. I will carry on using it’

‘It allows me to accept things instead of tensing up more. You relax out of it. I have slept a lot better and have not taken any pain killers for three weeks. I have used the process every night, I sleep better and do not wake as tense so there is less of a problem in the day’.

‘It works! It takes the pain off. Whenever [the pain] comes on I just calm myself, accept the pain and it goes. I am left at peace. I feel like a different person. Nice to think I haven’t got pain! I can manage now’.

‘Rather than thinking what shall I do with myself and thrashing about and getting up and taking pain killers I do a process and fall asleep – all night’.

I can teach you the Pain Release Technique to use on your own pain whenever you need to. I am holding a seminar in the beautiful surroundings of Park Willow on December 5^th,  see the attached programme, and I look forward to giving you a tool that will make a real difference to your life.

Releasing Pain

Releasing Pain

Emotional pain is not constant, it is felt in a wave and soon passes. A new wave is triggered when the thinking mind recalls the cause of the pain, this prolongs the length of time that we suffer from a painful event, sometimes indefinitely.

As an example. If someone offends us we will feel a wave of anger. This wave rises, is felt strongly and passes and is over. In the next moment the person has probably stopped offending us, in fact they may have left our company altogether and so the cause of the emotion has gone. But our thinking mind is not happy, it keeps hold of the memory of the pain by endlessly replaying it, like a stuck record. The thinking mind may believe that it has been insulted and revenge is necessary, or it may believe that our own behaviour was at fault and we somehow deserved such treatment, or it may believe that the person’s behaviour was remiss and needs correcting. The possibilities are many and will depend upon the beliefs that we have about ourselves and about life. We keep reliving the pain and we are now inflicting the pain upon ourselves. This scenario can be repeated in many different situations until our thinking mind is a spin of memories and we are stuck in a cycle of pain that makes us anxious, depressed, grumpy, and down right miserable. It can affect our sleep, our digestion, our concentration, our energy levels and our judgement.

But, actually, we do have a choice. We can actually choose to let go of the pain. This does not make us weak, it does not stop us from responding to the offending person if we choose, but it does allow us to be clear, to see things more objectively and act reasonably.  

Physical pain may be more constant, it may not be experienced as a wave that passes and we may not have a choice about whether or not we let it go. Where we do have a choice, however, is how we respond to the pain. The pain is in the body, but, as with the emotional pain, the thinking mind makes it its own. It exacerbates the suffering by adding emotional pain to the mix.

As an example, you have sciatica. This is a pain extending down your leg, it is sharp and unpredictable. The thinking mind gets fearful, it does not know when the next stab of pain will come so it is in constant readiness, it holds the body so tense that   muscles go in to spasm, then it start s to worry about the future: what of this never goes? What of I never sleep again? I can’t drive? Can’t go to work? I’ll be homeless!

But again, we do have a choice. We can still the thinking mind, accept the pain in the body for what it is, in THIS moment and in this moment it is always bearable.

The Mini Mindfulness Meditation, or pain release technique takes five minutes at most. It is about letting the wave of pain pass through without resistance leaving us undisturbed and free. In an exercise  I do to explain the principle of the technique I ask people to meditate on floating in a vast ocean, then sinking deeper and feeling it supporting the body and being conscious of the peace, calm, vastness all around. The pain is a wave, it approaches and passes through, it is felt and it is gone. It leaves us washed through and at peace.

Compare this with a body that resists the wave and tries not to allow it in. We all know the power of the ocean when it meets an obstruction. This is the damage that it will cause us if we try and fight it. And compare it with a wave that is trapped within, developing into a whirlpool that takes everything down with it.

I ask you to not only accept your pain, but to surrender to it, to sit in the heart of it and let it do its worst. By allowing it to ‘just be’ in this way a miracle happens. The pain changes, softens and releases leaving you more at peace.

I can teach you the mini mindfulness meditation to use on your own pain whenever you need to in just an hour, and I can teach you to use it on others who are suffering pain in a three hour seminar.

I am holding seminars in Sheffield, Leeds, Mirfield, Barnsley and Manchester on the near future. Please let me know which location is most convenient for you by emailing, ringing or texting: clare@clarewaltershealth.co.uk tel 07984115927.

Below are some testimonials from clients who have tried the technique for chronic pain such as arthritis and fibromyalgia. Please add you own experiences and do not forget that the technique works for emotional pain too.

‘I really enjoyed the process. I used it before going to sleep. When I stop is when I feel the pain, especially in my hips, so it is difficult to get to sleep. Sometimes the pain moves and sometimes it goes. It is weird. I will definitely keep using it’.

‘It calms me down if I am anxious or stressed. I used it in bed when I had pain and I was able to get to sleep and the next day it was better. It did work, if the pain comes on I will definitely use it in the future’.

‘My neck has been as free as it has ever been. The process releases the stiffness. It also helped with the tiredness and it has eased the pain. I will carry on using it’

‘I feel daft, I don’t like to use the words’.

‘It allows me to accept things instead of tensing up more. You relax out of it. I have slept a lot better and have not taken any pain killers for three weeks, normally I would take two co-codamol a day. I have used the process every night, I sleep better and do not wake as tense so there is less of a problem in the day’.

‘It works! It takes the pain off. Whenever [the pain] comes on I just calm myself, accept the pain and it goes. I am left at peace. I feel like a different person. Nice to think I haven’t got pain! I can manage now’.

‘Rather than thinking what shall I do with myself and thrashing about and getting up and taking pain killers I do a process and fall asleep – all night’.

‘I can’t do it when I am busy, it is hard to keep my mind on the process’

‘Very positive’

‘Although I can see that it would help a lot of people the therapy is not for me’.

‘I have not been doing this ever so often as I use an alpha-stim machine, but it does seem to complement the alpha-stim’.

‘It helps me sleep’

‘It has taken the edge off the pain and helped me relax, feel calm and able to get on with things better’

Healing Pain

"Keep your thoughts positive because your thoughts become your words. Keep your words positive because your words become your behaviors. Keep your behaviors positive because your behaviors become your habits. Keep your habits positive because your habits become your values. Keep your values positive because your values become your destiny. " - Gandhi

Our basic state is one of joy. This may have different flavours such as gratitude, love, acceptance, but it is always joyous. When we are experiencing joy we are wide open and accepting and there is no room for negative emotions such as anger, revenge, jealousy, fear. We are in touch with our own wisdom

When we are in joy we intuitively know the right thing to do, we act from our truth and our life path opens out effortlessly before us.

This joy is deeper and more complete than anything that the thinking mind can experience. The thinking mind has its place, it is there to solve problems, calculate, learn, remember, anticipate. But it is a tool. It is a tool for the being to use much as it uses its other organs: its liver, its legs, its lungs and in much the same way it work for most of the time unconsciously. It can evoke pain and, as with any other part of us that is in pain, then we notice it. Things that cause the thinking mind to evoke pain are its thoughts: it remembers past experiences and reminds us of grief, anger, fear that we felt then; it anticipates the future and causes anxiety. When we are in pain we are out of touch with joy.

As well as evoking pain, the thinking mind takes on beliefs. Beliefs about itself and about life and, where these remain unexamined, they make us close down and cause us to avoid experiences, they make us feel separate from joy.

In our culture the thinking mind has become paramount. Perhaps this is since the enlightenment and Descartes’ famous word ‘I think therefore I am’. Since this time the thinking mind, reason, the intellect has been held in greater and greater esteem and for many in the Western world it is now unquestioned.

My vision is about getting people back in touch with their joy. I have several powerful tools that I can use and I can select an appropriate tool that the client is comfortable with and that makes sense to them.

For people who have a strong thinking mind, I find that the best tool is often Byron Katy. The Work befuddles the thinking mind so it loses its grip and the client has a momentary experience of their inner wisdom and they feel joy. They may not even realise what has happened, but if The Work is used often the domination of the thinking mind is weakened and the client becomes increasingly open. I know for myself that when I am holding on to a negative belief I feel constricted inside. I do the work and I open. I open to the joy that I really am and when in a joyful state there is no room for pain. Simples.

For people overwhelmed by pain, such as grief, despair or physical pain then the pain release technique is useful to use first. This allows the sufferer to accept the pain, surrender to it and open to joy. Once in joy they will be in touch with their own inner wisdom and their own answers will unfold.

For people who are very stuck and keep dropping back in to the same painful state then a journey may be called for. This is often the case, for instance, when the stuckness goes back to childhood or to an overwhelming experience such as a major trauma. It is very deeply entrenched and you just get the sense that the client has not truly let go and cannot stay open for more than a few seconds before the pain returns.

The journey is the most complete healing. It goes back to the event or childhood state and re-examines it from the perspective of inner wisdom and joy. Once the healing is complete the painful state can be released, there can be true forgiveness and a lasting freedom can be enjoyed. Most people do one or two journeys and then simply get on with their lives. This has been true for most of my clients

As with all spiritual work, the journey will attract people who are suffering very deeply. Many of these will go on to become healers themselves. Lots of people continue to do journey work to deepen their spirituality, becoming increasingly joyful and open. These may include therapists or coaches working to be more ‘there’ for their clients, they will stand out as being relatively balance (ego free) and open. People who do journeys regularly find them easy and quick as they are addressing recent pain that is not so deeply entrenched, or touching on remaining pockets of pain form the past leaving even greater freedom.

I must admit that I often have resistance to doing a journey, but once I have done it I am so grateful – the more resistance I feel the more good it does and the more I realise I needed it, I think the resistance is about the thinking mind avoiding pain.

I also do the Work often and of course it is quicker and can be done alone and is highly effective, but sometimes a different approach is good because it reveals different stuff.